Friday, August 29, 2014

Chelsea Weds Tyler

And I missed the entire thing. 

We woke up around 8:30 on the day of the wedding.  I loved having slept in, our hotel room was dark and my baby was nestled sweetly into my neck for the most of the night.  We had a leisurely breakfast of cereal and toast (she's a carbs girl like her mum) and then got ready to go to the church.  Check our her manicure and jewelry.

Everyone ooh'd and ah'd over her, in her pretty dress, with her pretty headband, and Claire seemed to be eating it up.  She really did look like a pretty little doll. 

But then when we lined up in the church basement, Claire wouldn't stand in line.  Okay, so I carried her.  We were both sweating immensely because Canada doesn't believe in air conditioning, and I was pleading with her to just please, stand next to your partner and hold hands nicely.  But she wouldn't.  Where were my M&Ms when I really needed them?  And I guess my asking her was pissing her off because this is the point where she completely lost it on me and smacked me in the face.  I was stunned, she'd never hit me before, and I was embarassed and sad for the both of us.  I could tell she was shocked too because she froze waiting on my reaction.  The bridesmaids and other flower girls had all walked down the aisle, and the beautiful bride, who I felt SO SORRY for, asked if I wanted to walk Claire myself.  But of course I said no, that's crazy talk, so I told her to just go ahead and we'd take our seats when Claire calmed down.

But she never did.  She got out of my grip and threw herself on the ground.  Thank goodness there were bagpipes to drown out the crying, I really appreciated that kilted man.  I stood with her outside the church and that's where we stayed, with Claire crying and screaming, "No flower girl!  No pretty flower girl!" and me on the verge of tears.  And oh man, both of us sweating buckets.  And trying to wrangle her when I don't even know what she wanted.  She didn't want me to carry her and she didn't want to be on her feet. 

90s kids will understand when I saw Claire was one of these things.

And then an usher came and asked us if we wanted to wait in the church basement because everyone could hear Claire throwing a tantrum.  But no, I was not going to wait in the church basement, which ironically felt like the fiery depths of hell with how hot it was in there.  I wanted to crawl in a hole.

But even though it felt like hours, the ceremony was short and sweet, and I could see the bride and groom kiss from our position across the parking lot.  Kinda.  So of course, this is when Claire finally calmed down and even posed for some pictures, then sat quietly at the church reception eating her cheese plate and chugging lemonade. 

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