Saturday, December 31, 2016

New Year's Eve

Dear Claire,
     What a year!  I feel like it flew by, and it really did.  You are doing so much in your fourth year of life that I can hardly keep up.  You learnt how to ice skate, can recite the Lord's Prayer, and navigate our DirecTV and Netflix with ease.  You still love to make up songs and now dances to go along with them.  Every Friday we take your cousins to dance class, which you can't do yet, but you practice the moves along with them while we wait out in the lobby.  You love makeup, dresses, and long hair.  You are our princess.
     You are also completely hyperactive.  You can't sit still and bounce around, always moving, always laughing.  I get frustrated sometimes and growl at you, but you are quick to apologize ("Sorry mummy,") and lean in for a hug.  When I screw up you ask me to say sorry to you, which is hard for me but I'm learning.  You like constant affection which is also hard for me, but I'm trying at that too.  You like to be up in my face, and you crack up and move in closer when I tell you that you've invaded my bubble.  So I'll say something like "this is NOT a game," and then we both crack up.  I can be in the worst mood, but you can always make it better.  You make ME better.
     I have tried to give you the independence you so crave for being a little four-year old baby.  But patience seems to come easier when I see how much you love learning.  You crack the eggs for breakfast, fill your own hot chocolate using the machine at the corner store, scan the groceries at self-check, load and unload the dishwasher, shower yourself with shampoo and everything, fold and put away laundry, and make your bed (and mine).  You still sleep with Daddy and me, but that's okay for now.  You tell us when you go to Kindergarten you'll start sleeping in your own bed.  Sure.
     You always kiss and hug us, you always want to hold hands, and I think Daddy gets jealous that you spend so much time loving me up.  But he sees that we have our own special bond that might possibly change someday - when you're a teenager and I ruin your life and you hate me and wish I were dead.  So until then he doesn't say anything and I begrudgingly let you into my personal space.
     Gigi spends every weekend with you.  She is the sister you never had and I hope you come to realize you can depend on her for the rest of your life.  She is your person, Claire.  Fiori spends weekends with you too, and you love the time you get to spend being a kid, and doing activities together, or even just nothing but laying around watching movies.  I love watching your relationship with these two blossom.
     You are gearing up to start Kindergarten this year, which I'm already having a hard time with.  But I vow to give the five of us the best summer we ever had, before our whole lives change once again.  And while I'm nervous for the road ahead, I'm so grateful to be able to watch you conquer every obstacle with grace and joy.  

I love you Darling Claire,

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